found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
