Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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