so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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