Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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