Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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