Fine. I'll sleep in my office
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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