Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
