Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
