Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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