She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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