Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
