and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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