butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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