Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
