Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
