we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
