he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
As shirtless as possible
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
