I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i already hear my dad disowning me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
