You really coming over, don't trick.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
