he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
