he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
