You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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