I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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