oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
