if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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