i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Shame - the story of my life.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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