They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
