Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
