I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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