were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
