You're my little dorito
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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