Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
