he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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