Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
