You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
