did you get engaged???
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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