We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
