i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
