when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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