after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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