Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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