No subtext here. People are naked.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
