In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
