ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
