She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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