Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
