i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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