i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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