do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The air was thick with penises
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
