Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
